Philosophical Sayings About Worldly Matter (XXX)

A protracted dispute is wrong on both sides. Why? Entangled in such a dispute, both sides see only the faults of the opposing party and the merits of his own. Continuing dispute will but increase the wrongdoing. When one realizes that the other party is as annoyed as he is, one is apt to withdraw from the dispute.

(This is a translation of H.H. Dorje Chang Buddha III Wan Ko Yeshe Norbu’s philosophical sayings about worldly matters originally written in Chinese.)

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Below is not an official translation, just for reference.

A prolonged struggle in which both sides stubbornly cling to their own views and argue endlessly is actually due to the fact that everyone is at fault, not just one side. The main reason for this is that everyone only sees their own strengths and always feels that they are in the right, without paying attention to their own weaknesses, shortcomings, and mistakes. When you point out my faults, I will point out yours, and the argument goes on and on.

In fact, the behavior of not letting each other win is a manifestation of selfish thoughts. And the longer the time goes on, the more serious the mistake becomes. At this point, if we turn the tables and think about it, when we accuse the other person, are they not in pain and troubled? When we talk about them, they will definitely feel annoyed and hurt. Therefore, if we eliminate selfish thoughts, we will not blindly blame the other party, but engage in self-criticism. This way, there will naturally be no arguments left.